Being average

For time immorial we have been told to be really good at one thing, to be passionate about that one thing, persist with it and give it all. Our parents tolds us, our teachers injected the same idea and employers don't miss this word "passionate" or "excellent" at all. Nowadays, "excellent" has been replaced by the more catchy "kickass" or "rocking". But I guess they all mean the same, that you should be the best at doing something and that one thing should be your identity. Are some bells ringing? However, the crushing truth is that not all of us are at the top of the herd. Most of us are average. We are good at what we do or want to do but we are not the best at that. However that doesn't take away the fact that we really enjoy doing what we do. So, what am I trying to get at? Please sail with me and we will find a shore.

We grow up trying to find our passion. We explore some things that interest us and pursue some of them. It can be a career, a hobby, just about anything. However, some of us realize that although we think we are capable of doing a decent job at that, we are not a champion in that field. And that point of realization can be very depressing. But soon we realize that although we are not as inherently talented or intelligent as the next guy, we can still stay afloat. How? Well, there are many ways and you can choose your own recipe. Some options are persistence, hard work, working systematically on a plan, and we can fine tune these to suit your need or even apply a hybrid approach. So, the point is being average is not a limitation. In fact we have no control over intelligence or talent. What we do have is an urge to get to the top, a desire to sit next to that smart guy and not feel stupid and an above average thinking. We all know this, right? But as strange it may sound, people are intimidated by the smarter guy. So much so that they feel, "There is no way I can be like him/her!" So it makes sense that we actually realize this or else we are going to kill that average guy inside us who could have done great things even with those average skills.

We get it now. It is okay to be average. Let's explore a little more. There is a common phenomenon with average people like us. We are confused. We are confused about what we really want to do. We don't find an answer long enough and in the process some of us take the safe route to avoid risking too much in the adventurous journey of searching for that elusive answer. And these "some of us" are not losers; no, not at all. Most of us live under the pressure of expectations and insecurity. So, if you don't find an answer for long then you can park it for some time. Secure yourself. Give your loved one the life you had dreamt of giving them. But don't stop chasing that question "What do I really want?" And when you get an answer and are in a position to pursue that answer then don't cheat yourself then. Don't give up on your chase to settle for a safer and easier option. We have heard people saying, "Life doesn't give you many chances." However I like to believe that it is us who don't give ourselves that many chances. If we do, we can get to the point when we can make that chance count.

We all have different expectations from life and want to do different things in life. Success means different things to different people. However, there is one thing that is common between all of us. We all want to be happy and there's no refuting that. Some of us are happy playing an instrument, some watching movies, some writing code (I had to include this as an example :D) and there could be so many things. However, I feel all of us miss one point, that is, life is not meant to be unidimensional; it has many dimensions. So, if we try to align our life along one of them, it is not going work out. It is unnatural in my opinion. We should explore life along multiple dimensions and we can be average along every dimension. It does not matter as long as we are happy and also manage to keep some people around us happy. Sometimes exploring life also leads us unexpectedly to something we never thought we would enjoy. Sometimes it might turn out that we are actually above average in that.

We are finally getting nearer to the shore that I had promised about. We are all born innocent and ignorant. We grow up with dreams of making it big in life. We all want to be rockstars in our own right. But gradually we start seeing that we are not as gifted as someone else. We are not as cool as the "dude" in the neighbourhood. And that's when it gets tricky. The crux here is the realization that being average is not our limitation because that's what most of us are. The actual handicap is an average thought process and a drop in our expectation from life. And we should never let this happen to us. If we can keep thinking big and keep doing a little more than usual, we can unlock our true potential. We should keep giving ourselves chances to do what makes us happy. I would like to drive home the thought that perhaps we don't really need to take life as seriously as we do. If we give life a little more room to take its own course then it might start flowing more freely and the ride will become more joyous. Recently I came across a quote that says, "It is okay to be confused as long as life is fun with that confusion." It makes so much sense. If exploring life is fun till you find you real goal then it is fine. We can keep doing what we enjoy and may be take a leap of faith that things will eventually fall into place.

Being average is good. Let us not pull ourselves down because of that. It gives us a reason to push ourselves a little but more and make our work above average. This sounds feasible and optimistic at the same time. And thus we have reached the shore we were trying to get to. Life can be fun if we keep sailing with the tide even if we are clueless about the direction at present.

East - West - North - South

Marwari by origin... Raised in Calcutta... Graduated in Durgapur... First job in Hyderabad... Switch to Noida... hmmm... that's like connecting with all the primary directions known to Man... West - East - South - North... Patience, patience... I will write something more meaningful :)

I love observing people right from childhood, may be because I was exposed to two diverse cultures both of which have been integral part of my life. As a child, I was raised with typical Rajasthani customs and manners while my neighbourhood would pour sounds of Rabindra Sangeet in my ears. I grew amidst a fine blend of Marwari and Bengali culture which enables me to switch gears seamlessly according to the company I am in. My boyhood surrounding gave me the opportunity to appreciate the differences in the two cultures. I used to notice that two people from diverse backgrounds with simlilar nature (I thought so) have stark differences in their mannerisms and expressions and I thought may be they aren't that similar after all. But the habit of observing persisted.

After my high school, I moved to Durgapur, a town roughly 170 kilometres from Calcutta, for my undergraduate studies. The campus of my college was a fort in itself for it shielded the world inside. Outside was the same old Bengali air I had grown up in sans the fizz of a metropolis. Inside was a little India spanning 190 acres... Gulti, Matthu, Bangu, Maru, Tambi, North-waale, Kannu, Mallu, Nesa... wondering what that gibberish in the middle was? Well, those were names that mapped you to your state of residence. It was a mixed culture I was exposed to which I absolutely loved. I saw the co-existence of colourful differences among my batchmates that almost served as badges. It was a true learning experience for me as I had more to think about people in general and their ways of life in particular. It fuelled my zeal of meeting new people from varied backgrounds.

Seven out of ten software engineers aka techies land up somewhere in South India and I was not exception. It was the summer of 2008 when I moved to the city of Nawabs. I was told that I would be forced to learn Telugu which was good and bad. Good because I would have one more language to add to the list and bad because I didn't think I was good at picking up a new language. God chose to alleviate my fears and I found that local people also spoke the languages I knew (precisely, Hindi or English). The city is a mix of decendents of Nawabs and the native Telugu people. The native people are in general knowledge-hungry but submissive and somewhat introvert by nature whereas the grandsons of Nawabs are as flamboyant as ever even if you find one driving an auto-rickshaw! However, affinity towards super-spicy non-veg food is common between both the people. Boy, they can gobble up loads of them without an ounce of problem. But guys, I am not a foodie and spicy food is definitely not my thing. So, when I decided to move upward north, food was not something I was going to miss.

I had heard people switch a lot in their early years and yours truly again was no exception. I moved from blue card to red card (sorry for the expression, those are the colours of my employee cards :P) and landed up in Noida, essentially a suburb of Delhi but now boasts of being a city. I have always found Punjabi to be a very sweet language and now I was in a place full of Punjabis and Jats. From "entra" and "cheppandi", I had moved to "galt" (mind you, not galat) and "zrurt" (again, not zarurat). Complete shift in terms of surroundings and culture. People in this part of India are far more colourful and they only wanna live life without caring about the shit. Nice attitude, eh?!! Sharp reactions, ready expressions and quick decisions. So, I finally got a flavour of North India. Food again is so very important and people proudly proclaim, "Khaane ke liye jeena hai!" Are you serious, you live to eat? But that's okay. Let's keep food aside for now. What I found again is a difference in mindset from those in East or South; the people here have a different outlook towards life. Hmm, so is it the caste or region that really distinguishes poeple?....

....I thought hard over it. Peripherally yes it does. But I chose to dive deeper into the question, rewinded my impressions of the people I had met and interacted with, recollected my experience so far of getting in touch with the diverse cultures of India. And, I did find truth in the simplicity of words of the protagonist of a recent Bollywood movie which I thought was over-simplification. My mind refuted this long holding notion of mine that people are complex, after all the trudging into the near past and not so near past. There are actually only two kinds of people - good and bad. It's not the reaction that's different but it's the way of reacting. Had the reactions been different altogether, we wouldn't find people of similar nature. The varied ways owes to the situations one has grown up in, the mannerisms one has seen and believes in, the expressions which make sense to him/her... it's like the core is same wherever you go but the layers around the core that keep on accumulating are of different textures and colours depending on the place and environment one grows up in. Let's try to reach to the core and we'll find that people around us are not that complex after all :)